Friday memory: Delayed peace

Last Friday we ran with our three years old son into the hospital and they immediately prepared him for an operation. The doctor taught he had appendicitis and he needed a surgery immediately. My heart just stopped for a while. And I felt so helpless … And desperate … And frightened …

Our first baby, our first family christmas card, happy memories ...

Our first baby, our first family christmas card, happy memories ...

It turned out that he just had a bacteria and he didn’t need a surgery. Just  antibiotics and infusion. When you would see him at this moment you wouldn’t think that only seven days ago looked so ill.

When I sat in the hospital  and watched him sleeping I remembered everything: pregnancy, first confusing moments with our baby, his first steps, his first words (we raised a wise little man, one of his first words was HVALA – thank you) and his surprisingly questions he asked us now …

When we got home one of our friends asked me how I feel and how our unborn child is handling  with such stress. And I realised I’ve totally forgotten the baby she’s about to come.  I also realised I did that a lot during this tense and active year and the quilt knocked on my heart.  My first pregnancy was totally different. I felt peaceful, powerful, joyful and I was active till the end. We also put so much attention to my growing belly: took a lot of pictures and were preparing for the arrival for several months.

One of my few second pregnancy photos.

One of my few second pregnancy photos.

The second pregnancy is just the opposite. And I really have a very few photos of me and my growing belly. The baby could be here today, tomorrow or anytime and I just started to prepare a nest for our new family member. But as this carrousel of emotions was over I just felt very strong connection with my belly, the moves in it and my new baby. Finally the time for new memories is here. The peace just came with the delay. And that’s also o. k.

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11 Comments

  1. onneke October 15, 2010 at 13:38 #

    Petra, I remember this so well. The difference between the first and second pregnancy. But the love is the same and that’s what matters. I am glad your boy is feeling better 🙂

  2. Ingrid Marc October 15, 2010 at 14:25 #

    Petra, med prvo nosečnostjo in vsemi ostalimi nosečnostmi je pri vseh mamicah razlika – pri prvi si lahko privoščiš več miru in uživanja. Pri drugi pa nisi več tako sam… 🙂 Prav tako se drugemu in ostalim otrokom ne moreš več tako v celoti posvetiti, kot se lahko prvemu. Me veseli, da ste v redu. Torej je na poti deklica?

    • Petra Kern October 15, 2010 at 15:16 #

      Hja, tako je to, res je. Ne vem, če je deklica. A zaradi she pri baby? Ne, samo enkrat sem brala eno knjigo o dojenčkih, pa je pediater bebice striktno naslavljal s she 🙂

      • Katja Zagorc October 15, 2010 at 17:58 #

        Ingrid, tudi jaz se podpišem pod vse, kar si napisala 🙂
        Prva nosečnost je ena sama romantika in uživanje (če je vse v redu, seveda), pa vse je prvič…, druga in vse naslednje so pa kar precej “prizemljene” 😉
        Petra, tudi meni se je srce skoraj ustavilo, ko sem izvedela, da je Tim v bolnici, čeprav ni moj otrok – si lahko predstavljam, kako si se počutila ti…
        Samo da je mimo in da je spet vse lepo in prav in da si stres dobro prestala in da se bitjece v trebuščku dobro počuti! 🙂
        Aktivna boš pa tudi v tej nosečnosti do konca – očitno ;P
        P.S.: Šele danes sem opazila, da so najluštnejši copatki na svetu slikani na tvojem trebuščku! 🙂
        No saj, Uroš pač zna, a ne 🙂 Res lepa fotka!
        Uživajte!!!

  3. Sonya McCllough October 15, 2010 at 15:49 #

    Oh, Petra … I am so moved by all of it. I am thankful baby boy is well and thankful you are understanding of the delay … my children are 3 years apart, both birthdays in July … and science supports shifts in the female mind, when the male hormone is present. My first child is a girl, so this shift did not take place for me … until expecting the boy. Congratulations … you’ve been birthing so much.

    • Petra Kern October 15, 2010 at 22:31 #

      thanks Sonya for calmly thoughts 🙂 I like the expression birthing much 🙂

  4. Diana October 15, 2010 at 16:54 #

    Scary thing when you feel helpless about a suffering child. So glad to hear he didn’t have to have an operation and all is well. Booties are so cute, so tiny.

  5. Stephanie Ryan October 16, 2010 at 03:46 #

    I am so glad he is okay, so scary. Enjoy both of those little blessings.

  6. Elizabeth October 17, 2010 at 07:37 #

    Petra, I was so scared when I read about the surgery, then so happy to knew it was not necessary. It is not easy to be calm with these events. The second child experience is always different and the third…Wishing you a calm and safe birth on your second child. I love that phto with the booties, so cute. I enjoyed so much this post and maked me feel connected. Thank you so much for your kind words on my post. Enjoy the Ride on this new adventure in your life!

  7. Ani October 18, 2010 at 05:03 #

    So glad your boy is fine. How scary it is, I know. Best wishes for the new baby.

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